I don’t know how the world works. I don’t know why some people get cancer and others don’t. I don’t know why God chooses to heal an elderly person with cancer but not the child with leukemia. I don’t know why God allows some kids to grow up with just 1 parent or maybe neither biological parent while I grew up with 2 loving parents. I don’t know why some people seem to have harder stories and pasts than others. I don’t know why the victim doesn’t always seem to win in the end.

I can drive myself into a deep depression and anxiety if I try to understand these things or try to reconcile them. I don’t know those answers.

But I know the One who does.

I know Him. I am learning His character more each day. And this is what I know about Him. He is good. Always. He is faithful in the seemingly good and the seemingly bad. He holds this whole world in His hands and nothing escapes his notice. He cares deeply for each one of us. He is for us.

He does not cause evil. He does not put cancer in someone’s body. His plans are not to harm us but to prosper us. He is for us. And therefore, who can be against us?

He is Love. His love for us runs deeper than any sin, any pain, any past. His love is strong and fierce. His love holds us when our hurt makes us too weak to hold ourselves.

He is Redeemer. He redeems all things. He causes ALL things to work for the good of those who love Him.

He sees everything. We see little. He knows everything. We know little. He is always working whether we see it or not. Whether we feel it or not.

If He chooses to not heal a mother of 3 young children from cancer but rather bring her home with Him, I will trust that it is better. Not because I see how it could be better but because I believe His promises are true. I believe His thoughts are higher than ours and His ways are higher than ours. It is better for His glory, for His kingdom, but also for our good. But trust me, it does not seem like it could be good or better.

But then I remember, this is not our home. Certainly there is joy for the mother who will be pain-free in the place of no more tears with her Father and her Savior. She gets to see Jesus face-to-face. She will be home and we can rejoice in that. But we are not left without a Hope for ourselves. Because this is not our home. We are only here for a short while. The pain is not forever. The worldly pleasures are not forever. Yes it feels like forever. But it’s not. We will soon be with Jesus in glory, we will soon again be with the ones who go before us, and that is forever.

Death has not won and death will not win. It already lost. It lost when Jesus defeated it on the cross. Jesus died so we could live. Jesus bore the weight of our sin so we could obtain His peace that surpasses all understanding. Jesus was denied by His Father so we would never have to be. Jesus was wounded so we could be healed. Jesus was cast from His Father’s presence so that we could be brought in. Jesus was tormented that we might be comforted. Jesus endured all pain so that we could have unfading health.

Jesus is our Hope. We cling to the cross. Jesus is the Resurrection and the Life. He is our Champion. Our Victor. The reason we can sing in our pain.

But even with all these things being true, it doesn’t make the pain any less real. It doesn’t answer our questions of why her, why them.

But God knows that. And even though He knows the why, He knows it hurts too. And He lets us hurt. And He meets us where we are. Every. single. time. He offers His comfort. His peace. His presence. He offers us the safest place to struggle, to doubt, to cry, to grieve. He draws near to His children who are hurting and broken. He binds our wounds and heals our hearts.

In John 17:3, Jesus prays “This is eternal life, that they might know You, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom You have sent.”

Eternal life. Knowing God. Knowing Jesus. That’s it, that’s the goal- A relationship with God. That will never be taken away from us because Jesus won that for us on the cross. No matter the pain, the hurt, the confusion, the sadness, the joy, the goodness, that relationship is our constant. And it’s the best thing we can have. It’s Eternal Life.

No matter your story. No matter your past, your future, your hurt, where you live, your family life, your wealth, your poverty, your health, your sickness, your doubt, your faithfulness, your faithlessness, your obedience, your sin. That relationship is offered to you and that relationship is constant because of the Lord’s faithfulness to us.

So yes, we have this Hope that one day all things will be made right, all things will be made new, all things will be redeemed. We have a Hope that we will one day no longer have any pain or tears or even a remembrance of the hurt. And I rejoice in that Hope. But that Hope is not for a future that seems so far away. No, that Hope is for us now. The Hope of Jesus. His everlasting love. His unending grace. His mercy that is new every morning. His presence where there is fullness of joy. His spirit inside of us. And nothing can take it away.