I’ve been meaning to write a blog post about my trip to Africa for a while, but I haven’t really known what I wanted to write about. So much happened and God taught me so many things that I haven’t known how to condense it, but I’m just going to go for it and try to summarize some of the things I learned while there and since I have been back.

I’ve been to Africa two summers in a row now, and I pretty much did the exact same thing both times. I even had most of the same girls in my group both times. Yet, I came back this year having a very different experience and God taught me so many new things. I love that about God. He’s so creative.

Something God showed me on the first day of camp is how inadequate I am. No matter how much I think I know the bible or know the gospel, I am completely powerless in teaching that to anyone. Even when I’m teaching the basic gospel story to girls who are much younger than me, I had absolutely no idea how to teach them. I’ve never felt so inadequate in teaching than I did in our first small group time. But I’m thankful for that feeling because God reminded me how much I need him to speak through me with those girls. He’s the only one who can cause real life change and open our ears to understand his gospel.

Something else I learned is that we aren’t promised to see the fruit of our labor on this side of heaven. With 100 other Americans, it’s easy to get discouraged when you hear all the other stories about how God is working in other groups when you haven’t seen anything big happen in your own. But that’s a lie I believe too often from the Enemy. But when I really start to think about that concept of not being promised to see the fruit of my labor, it’s actually really freeing! God didn’t call me to Africa to change lives. He called me simply to love on the girls he placed in my group. That’s pretty much all any Christian is called to do-just say yes to his calling and then watch him take care of the rest. And the best part is that although we aren’t promised to see any fruit, by the grace of God, he often allows us to see it! It makes it that much sweeter, seeing that fruit as a gift from God, not an entitlement. I saw tons of fruit while I was in Africa! I got to lead the 2 new girls in my group to Christ on Wednesday at camp, and then got to see almost all 12 of my girls share the gospel with adults in their community the next day! It was incredibly humbling to watch my little girls who I have been teaching all week, go out and share the gospel with strangers much older than them.

Something that I think is funny, is how God brought me all the way across the world, to help me in areas of my life back in Texas. He answered a prayer of mine while I was in Zambia that I have struggled with for a long time. He also showed me that I’m not called to Africa to care for orphans. Kind of funny, how he gave me that realization while I’m in Africa serving orphans. It actually sounds kind of weird. But while I was there, as much as I loved the girls in my group and loved being there, I couldn’t help but miss being back in America connecting with girls my own age. I craved deep conversations and being able to do ministry with girls I can relate to. God made it clear that I am called to right where I am now–at UT with girls in my own community. I don’t know what that looks like in a couple years from now, but I don’t have to worry about that. I trust that God will lead me wherever the next stage of my life is, but for now I am called to stay right where I am. It’s funny how God brought me all the way to Zambia to show me that.

While I learned a lot of new things, there are some aspects that never get old no matter how many times I hear or see them. Spiritual warfare is something I always learn more about in Africa-it is just so obvious over there. Maybe because I am seeing it from an outsiders perspective. But I hate hearing that my young girls’ biggest fear is the devil. At their age, I was so oblivious to any of that stuff, but they can’t escape it. It’s all around them from the witchdoctors, to bad dreams about snakes, to being physically and sexually abused by relatives. It’s everywhere and it’s scary to a little 8 year old girl. God gave me a little taste of this fear one night. One of the nights, I stayed up til around 1 in the morning with some other girls talking about a lot of random spiritual stuff. But a good portion of our conversation was about spiritual warfare and demon stories, and just a lot of creepy stuff. Then I had to go sleep in my own room that night….cold and pitch black. I had never been so terrified of demons or spiritual warfare in my life. I went to bed praying so hard and asking God to protect my mind from bad dreams and protect me physically from any spiritual warfare attacks. Although it was terrifying, I am so thankful for that experience and getting a little taste of what my girls go through every night.

I miss my girls so much and really feel like God gave me his heart for them (something I had prayed for before the week started) because the amount of love I have for those 12 girls is something that can only be from God. It was incredibly hard saying bye to those girls. But it’s okay because they were never my girls to begin with. They were always God’s children and they always will be. God let me love them and point them to Him for the week, but I said goodbye to them knowing that they were in God’s hands. Even though I can’t see them anymore, I continue to pray for my girls knowing that God is still with them, and trusting that he hears my prayers for them. That’s what faith is. Hebrews 11:1 says “Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the convictions of things not seen.” The best part of all is that these girls are now my sisters! We both share the same Father in heaven, and we both share the same inheritance in heaven! Even if I never see them again on this side of heaven, I know I will see them one day in Heaven. And that, my friends, is so so sweet!

There were so many other things that happened and so much more that I learned, and funny stories that I would love to share more about if you want to know more!