Songwriting is one of my passions. It’s one of my favorite hobbies. It’s a way for me to express myself, and it’s also a way to express to myself how I am feeling. I tend to keep my emotions bottled up inside to the point where I don’t even realize them until they become unleashed in a song. I think God uses my songwriting sometimes to speak to me. Last week, I was feeling kind of dry. I was also in the mood to write a song, so I grabbed my guitar and starting playing. After about 5 minutes I looked at the words that I had been writing down, and I saw that I was crying out to God to give me a desire for him. I was longing just to long for Him again. I was feeling spiritually dry. I was feeling a lack of joy. I think that was God showing my heart to me so that I could know that I needed him to help me.

The next morning, God took me to a passage in 2nd Timothy where he showed me that He heard my cry and he was there. “If we are faithless, He remains faithful, for he cannot deny Himself.” 2nd Timothy 2:13. He spoke to me through his word that morning and reminded me that even though I am weak and doubt and run away. He never fails. He can’t fail. He is always faithful even when I am not and that he has the power to restore my joy when I cannot. So that was cool but it gets WAY better.

So then that night, I went to a bible study where the topic was none other than…wait for it….JOY. Okay God, i see you! We watched a Beth Moore video and I learned some cool stuff, but honestly the parts that got to me the most were the passages she used. The first verse that stuck out to me was Isaiah 60:5 “Then you will look and be radiant, your heart will throb and swell with joy.” I became captivated by that concept. I longed so badly to feel my heart throbbing and swelling with joy. Another verse that I fell in love with was Isaiah 35:10 which says “And the ransomed of the Lord will return and come with joyful shouting to Zion with everlasting joy upon their heads. They will find gladness and joy and sorrow and sighing will flee away.”

After bible study, I decided that I needed to go spend some more time with Jesus and talk to Him about everything going on. So I went to a coffee shop, journaled for a bit, and then opened up my bible and began reading the same verses from bible study as well as some others in Isaiah.

And then I can’t even explain what happened next, but all of the sudden my heart was throbbing and swelling with joy! I was so in awe by my creator and savior. I was captivated by Jesus and was literally watching him answer my weak cry out to him the night before. I asked of joy and within 24 hours he had given me an overabundance of joy! I had so much that I just wanted to share it with everyone so I began texting one of the verses to some of my friends. It was one of the most unreal experiences. As I drove home, my eyes welled with tears as I realized the reality that Jesus had literally called out to me and spoke to me in my song so that I would realize my need for him again. And then he filled that need abundantly and so quickly. 

And you know what the coolest part was? That joy that I got that night came simply from spending time with God that night and having him reveal his word to me. That joy didn’t come from stuff, or friends, or accomplishments. It came from my relationship with God. And something that I still can’t get over is the fact that that relationship with God is available to everyone. In fact it is pretty much the only thing that is available to every single person on earth no matter your circumstances. No matter how rich, how poor, how young, how old, everyone has access to this unexplainable joy and relationship that is really all you need. 

God has promised us joy in with Him in heaven one day. And sometimes my joy comes from simply knowing that truth. But God wants us to have joy NOW. I rediscovered that this past week. He wants to give us joy and give us a glimpse of what is to come. And if this joy that he’s given me is just a glimpse, then i can’t wait for that is coming! But why wait for joy when i know that it’s here now?