For the past several years I have had some stomach issues and have been trying to figure out what the cause is. I’ve seen 4 different doctors who have all said different things, tried countless medicines, and nothing has seemed to work. A couple weeks ago, I saw doctor number 4. After talking for a while and running some tests, he concluded that I probably have “insulin sensitivity”. (for the record, we have recently discovered that insulin is most likely not the cause based on other symptoms and once again we are back to square 1 trying to figure out what the problem is) However talking about stomach problems isn’t really the point of this post. 

Back when the doctor told me that he thought I had insulin sensitivity, he went through a long list of what I could no longer eat–basically anything that had any sugar or carbs was going to hurt my stomach and therefore needed to be avoided as much as possible to keep from having more problems down the road. It was ALOT to take in as the nurse began talking to me about my new diet and what I was going to have to start eating and stop eating. Even certain fruits were off limits and there was absolutely no more sweets, and if you know me, you know that sweets are a crucial part of my daily diet…so basically by the end of talking to the nurse and my mom, I was in tears and very stressed out. I felt like I was pretty healthy overall and felt like I was being punished for something I didn’t deserve.

Anyways after an eventful morning at the doctor, I made the drive back to Austin. I was talking to God about it and trying to trust in Him even though I didn’t understand but was still very frustrated with everything. However God began to show me stuff I hadn’t thought about and change my attitude toward the whole situation.

So first off, I started to realize that I may have a bit of a food idol, and it was especially showing during that experience. I find myself going to food no matter what I’m feeling–whether I’m sad, happy, tired, or just want to be satisfied, I try to fill my need with food. But it’s so temporary. And God says to me “No, I’m the bread of life. I’m the only one who will truly and sufficiently satisfy you.” He’s not temporary. He is eternal. He offers eternal satisfaction–something that food will never offer me.

Something else that God reminded me of through this experience is just how broken this world is. Just how broken I am. I can’t even eat normal food without feeling sick or bad after. Part of the consequences of sin entering this world is that this world is broken and I can see and feel it first hand through eating. So often I find myself trying to fix my broken self by going to broken things in a broken world. But that day I was reminded once again of the brokenness of this world, and that I am only going to be fully satisfied and happy by going to Jesus–the healer of our broken world.

So in a way I’m thankful for my stomach problems because they remind me of how great Heaven will be with my Father when I won’t have these stomach problems. When I will be completely healed and renewed by the perfect healer. And I CANNOT WAIT for that day!